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sexhaver:scientists could scour the arctic for decades and never find anything colder than this


the most unrealistic thing about high school musical is that they let ryan wear hats in class

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I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

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we'll never be as young as we are now


have you ever done that thing where you don’t know the answer to a short answer question so you just rewrite the question and don’t finish the sentence to make it look like you wrote something

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a kitten with a kitten…AWWWW

8.19 [x]


Fireproof Musical Analysis: By A Professional Musician who plays music and is a musician and knows their shit.


whoa One Direction swallowed John Mayer’s guitar

Enter Fleetwood Mac ‘Dreams’ Drum sample:

Verse 1: Harry


who am I Hedwig what am I

Harry swallowed a whole pot of honey and you can hear it in his voice. I’m a musician, I know these things.

Verse 2: Niall

BVs: Back up vocals are not actually the band members I took them to a lab and did the test the back up harmonies are actually angels.

Chorus 1: Liam

Chorus led by Liam, who single handedly makes falsetto sexy again. 

Verse 3: LOUIS

True music fact: When Louis recorded this verse in the studio there were no survivors.

Guitar Solo:

*it’s as though the NANANAS never happened*

Chorus 2: Zayn

It doesn’t matter what I write here no one made it this far One Direction murdered them. For free.

Quiet Chorus:

OT5 part harmonies of destructionimage

Outro Chorus:

the bit everyone will sing along at the concerts and they’ll repeat over and over and everyone will raise their proverbial lighters and even the dads in the audience will admit this song is the best thing since ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac.


This has been a complete and 100% accurate analysis of One Direction’s latest single. May Louis have mercy on our souls.

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